Chapter 50 (Bali)

Hello World!
It's been so long..
Never been touch with my other part of world..
My silent blog..

It's been almost 3 months since I am here..
Bali..
A tourist places they said..
but too bad my came is not for any holiday dealing..
eventhou I can always use my time wisely here..

I working around here now..
From my comfort zone before, so this is my another journey..
New people, new life, new places, and new love trapping.. *maybe*
There are a lot new culture which I just knew..
A lot great people who I just saw..
Some good or bad experience I just felt..
Randomly, periodically I will try to share some photos here..

So how is the world today?
From my eyes see.. It just feel a little blue..
Here I am..
Trapped in another feeling..
Another forbidden zone..
Where to go.. What to take..
I don't know.. and never know...
Anyway, just trying another sunny sunday shall we?

Good day people!

Chapter 49 ( Letting go )

It looks some people just losing their love recently..
Love gives love takes...
how fair is it?

I forget somewhere.. I said it before..
what's the hardest lesson for people?
what's in your mind?

Mine.. said.. it should be "letting go"..
Me and you.. We just been told about how to focus and chase on something..
but what did we miss?
We never been told how to face a "letting go"..
and God have a sense of art about humor..
and He teach us about it..
which the saddest part is..
the subject of this lesson is always the person that probably you love the most..

When I were around 8 or 9..
My dad was a logging contractor which make him must leave the family..
and only return to home about twice a year..
I missed him a lot.. and when the times come for him to came home..
I were so so happy.. waiting him in front of the door..
everyday were just a perfect day..
but when it came for my dad to go..
back to his place of work.. on the other island...
I always waited front the door..
Holding and waiting there.. for not allowing him to go..
I cried a lot.. said a lot..
holding his hand.. hoping for him to stay any longer..
even it means forever for me..
But..
Go is a go..

I always did my cry...
until my mom silently said to me..
"if you cry, it's just made your dad hardly and barely leave us.. deep inside of his heart, he must be more painful than us.."
I don't really understand what mom said.. but I can take it a little..

6 months ahead.. when it just happened so..
When dad must be back to her workplace..
I hold my cry, whatever it takes..
and say a good goodbye..
but after he gone from the eyes..
I cry harder than before..
Holding my old pillow.. and cry silently..
just like as I losing my precious toy..

Therefore.. I learn something about letting go..
Everybody must be have their preference about it..
Keeping your head up.. is not something as easy to do as it said..
but worth to do..



Lost has been part of my journey, but it always shown me what is precious.
-message in a bottle-

Bon nuit..

Chapter 48 ( Someday )

When I turn old, when I am not the original me,
Please understand me and have patience with me.

When I drip gravy all over my clothes, when I forget to tie my shoelaces,
Please remember how i taught you what to do, and how to do many things by hand.

When I repeatedly tell you things that you're tired of hearing,
Please be patient and listen to me. Please do not interrupt me.

When you were young, I told you the same story over and over
again until you were sound asleep.

When I need you to help me bath, Please do not scold me.
Do you still remember how when you were small
I had to coax you to take a bath?

When I don’t understand new technology and something new,
Please do not laugh at me or mock me. Please think how I used to be so patient with you to answer your every “Why”.

When my two legs are tired and I cannot walk anymore,
Please stretch out your powerful hands to lend me a hand,
just like when you were a baby learning to walk I held both your hands.

When I suddenly forget what subject we are discussing,
Please give me a little time to recollect. Actually, it does not
matter what we are talking about; as long as you are by my
side, I am so contended and happy already.

When you see the old me, please do not be sad.
Please understand me and support me, just like how I was with
you when you were young and were just learning to face life.

At the beginning, I guided you to the path of life.
Now I ask you to keep company me to finish this last leg of my life.
Give me your love and patience, I will give you a grateful smile,
and crystallized in this smile is my endless love for you.

I copied those great words from a site..
I take it as something about being old.. and being worry about ignored..
Life is just a small pieces of being care and concern..
How many those old people being left behind..
Alone.. and being careless..

When I read it from the 1st word till the last..
It so remind me about mom..
Hi... Mom.. How are you there?
Being fine..?
How is ur meal for today?
I hope everything is gonna be better..

Mom is someone who is a very good liar..
They lie to you...
and always lie to you..

They lie to you and to me..
When we are hungry, and I want some more food...
Mom will give me her part and said "eat mine.. I am not hungry.."

When there was only one last piece of chicken left in the table..
Mom will give me and said "Eat it... I don't like chicken.."

When in the late nite, I saw my mom taking care of me when I were sick..
with her sleepy eyes keep watching me.. and I asking her to sleep..
Mom will said to me "I am not yet sleepy.."

When mom having her illness there, far away..
and I called her.. and asking how is she..
Mom will said to me "I am just fine.. there is no pain"

When mom were in the hospital. and I wanna send her part of my salary..
Mom will said to me "I still have it here.."

It was said that everyone have their own guardian angel..
But let me tell you something..
the truest guardian angel is exactly our mom..

If you are there with her..
see her once more.. like it's the last time you will see her..
hug her once more.. like it's ur last hug..
talk to her once more.. like it's ur last chat..

Family goes first..
It's the biggest treasury you can have and already have..
Trust me..
and my love as with you mom..
as always..